Well, this is it....in a little more than 12 hours, the twins will be here. And I am officially freaking out! Reality has set in and it is overwhelming! First of all, my mom is sick. She has come down with a stomach bug and won't be able to be there tomorrow. Of course. That's how my luck runs. Besides my husband, she is the person I needed there with me most. Even at 35, I still need my momma. Secondly, Olivia was with her earlier today before the sickness hit so now I'm worried out of my mind that Olivia is going to be sick and I won't be there to take care of her.
And speaking of Olivia, I'm having some MAJOR mommy guilt right now. These new babies are going to totally rock her world and I'm not so sure she's going to adjust easily to the transition. I feel really, really bad about that. It's dumb for me to feel that way. Plenty of people in the world have siblings and they have all survived. But Olivia is still practically just a baby herself. It's hard to reason with a 2 year old and to get them to understand that there is enough love in your heart for her and 2 others. She left earlier tonight with my sister to spend the night and I started bawling when she left. Just kept thinking that the next time she walks in this house, she is going to be a big sister and will have to share the spotlight that has belonged solely to her for 27 months.
I'm also getting nervous about the surgery tomorrow. My first experience with a Csection was less than enjoyable. I spoke with my anesthesiologist earlier this evening. I get the choice of having an epidural or a spinal block tomorrow. So I get to chew on that tonight and decide what I want to do.
So....lots of things for me to think about tonight. But on to the real reason for my entry. Thanks....I have lots of things to be thankful for. God has given me so many blessings in my life--my wonderful husband, beautiful daughter, a roof over our heads, the fact that Vincent and I are gainfully employed despite this rough economy.....and most recently, these two little miracles I'm carrying right now. Without God, this pregnancy would not have been possible. His had has been involved in this before I even knew I wanted it. If it had not been for Him, I never would have met my sweet friend, Shanda, who recommended I see Dr. Barnett who is the best infertility doctor ever! I never would have been blessed twice with healthy pregnancies and after tomorrow, three beautiful children. Thank you, God, for all your many, many blessings. Please help me to always remember how blessed we are and that all good things come from you.
Secondly, I want to thank our parents for their constant love and support. They are always there when we need them, no questions asked. But I specifically want to thank my mom. She moved up here 5 years ago and what a blessing she has been to us these last 9 months! Words will never be able to let you know what you mean to this family and to me. I could not have gotten through this pregnancy without you!
And lastly, I need to thank Vincent. He's the best husband and partner in life that I ever could have hoped for. Thank you for all your love and patience these last 9 months. How I ever got so lucky as to have you in my life I'll never know. But I'm so glad that I did. You are the epitome of what it means to be a best friend and good husband. I love you so very, very much!
Well, I'm going to sign off now. Still need to finish packing. And I need to TRY to get some sleep but somehow I don't think that's gonna happen.
Just wanted to give you some words of encouragement in regards to Olivia. Lindsey was 22 months when the twins were born and, like you, I cried many a nights feeling so terrible for her. Feeling like she would get no attention and struggle! She handled it like a pro and just loved being big sister--more than that she pretty much just went on her way! You have plenty of people to pay special attention to her so that is great! Being the big sister of twins is difficult at times (people always stopped and made comments about the twins and I would politely say and "this is their big sister Lindsey" so she would not feel left out!
ReplyDeleteYou are a a great mom and Olivia is gonna be a ROCK STAR big sister!!!!!
Thank you so much, Amy! I appreciate you sharing with me b/c I know you know what I'm going through. So far so good at our house....Olivia definitely has her "daddy's girl" moments but for the most part, she just goes about her way--like you said. And considering all that's been thrown at her over the last 2 weeks, I'd say she's doing great!
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