I can't believe I forgot to mention this in my last entry--blame it on pregnancy brain if you will....starting at week 25, my OB put me on bed rest as a precaution. So since March 22nd, I have been at home staying off my feet as much as possible. This is in a attempt to avoid strict hospital bed rest later.
Little side note about my OB, Dr. Staub. This guy is a crazy nut--and I mean that in a good way. He is so funny, so witty, so sarcastic. My mom--who has been taking me to all my OB appts for the last several weeks--thinks he should be a comedian. She's probably right. He makes what could be otherwise stressful or embarrassing visits so much more tolerable. I wish I could share some of the funny things he has said to me over the years here but since my kids could be reading this one day, I better not b/c they tend to be somewhat on the crude side. To put it in movie terms (since I am such a movie buff) he's like the perfect combination of Dr. Richard Kimball from "The Fugitive" (not b/c Dr. Staub has been accused of murder but b/c he's so damn smart) and Stiffler from "American Pie". Not so sure he'd agree with those comparisons but I think he truly is the perfect combo of medical genius and funny. He is himself a father of twins so he is extra-cautious with his multiples mothers--hence the bed rest starting at 25 weeks. I really like the fact that I am being taken care of by someone that has been through all this before in his personal life. I feel like he can relate so much more to me and my situation more than a doctor who has not. I feel very fortunate that he is my doctor and I trust him completely.
So, as I said before, I have been on bed rest at home since 25 weeks. It might sound great--no work, little to no responsibilities at home, but trust me when I say it's NOT. The novelty of it wore off after about 3 days. I had to be on bed rest the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy with Olivia but this stint is twice as long--and twice as boring. I swore when this started that I would catch up on TV shows I had been meaning to watch but that has yet to happen. I don't know why. Just not in the mood I guess or maybe I don't have the brain power to invest in starting a new show--something I have to think about or pay attention to. It's much less effort to watch re-runs. I have been reading some wine books a friend let me borrow--trying to gear up for that oh so wonderful day when I can indulge in a glass of red again. But other than that, it's been a lot of online shopping for baby things and Facebooking. Good Lord, I'm LAME!
I've been feeling okay considering the situation. Okay, let's just say it.....I'm HUUUUUGE! As I write this, I am 34 weeks pregnant but look like I'm 134 weeks pregnant. To put it in layman's terms.....a normal pregnancy goes to 40 weeks gestation. If all goes well, I will be delivering by C-section at 37 weeks. Each time I go to see my OB, he measures the size of my belly in centimeters. The number of centimeters measured should measure the number of weeks you are in your pregnancy. Now obviously since I'm carrying twins, my measurement is going to be more than if I carried a singleton due to simple logistics. But even for someone carrying twins, I am measuring big. At my last appointment, I was 33 weeks but measuring 48 centimeters!!!!!! It literally looks--and feels like--I have a beach ball in my belly. But as miserable as this makes me feel at times, it really is a good thing b/c the bigger the babies are, the stronger they'll be when they're on the outside.
And if I'm being truly honest here, I have to admit that my most miserable moments now aren't nearly as bad as when I was pregnant with Olivia. Don't get me wrong, I'm uncomfortable, I'm starting to swell which hurts, I'm not sleeping well at night and I'm as clumsy as a gawky, preteen boy. But it hasn't been nearly as bad as when I was pregnant the first time. It's so weird. But the only things I can chalk it up to are that 1) I know what to expect now whereas the first time I didn't, 2) I don't have to worry about the pain of labor this time whereas it was a HUGE fear of mine the first time around, 3) I can actually see a light at the end of this tunnel--June 14th--whereas I had no idea when Olivia was going to come so it felt like it would NEVER end. Well, whatever it is I'm so glad that it's been easier on me this time. I hope this is the sign of a smooth transition to come--the transition to a life with 3 kids.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
The Second Trimester
Well, seeing as I went to the hospital today thinking I MIGHT be in labor (I was not, thank goodness), I figure I better get going on my blog again so I can get caught up.
At week 14, the second trimester started off much like the first trimester ended--I was still feeling sick and still spotting. But I was holding onto the hope that the magic of the second trimester would make it all vanish like I had heard it would. Well, slowly but surely, my dependency on Phenergen lessened until finally around weeks 15/16 I no longer needed it to function! *insert Hallelujah chorus here* Man, I felt like a new person, too. I actually had my appetite back and I didn't feel like a freaking zombie at work anymore. Nausea like that can seriously be debilitating! And even though I don't suffer from that anymore, I ALWAYS carry my Phenergen with me at all times just in case.
Another good thing that happened during this time was the bleeding finally stopped at around 16 weeks. Talk about a relief! I'm still not sure how it happened but according to all the sonograms I had taken, the hemorrhage resolved itself and was gone. But to this day, I STILL check for any signs of bleeding each and every time I go to the bathroom.
But the COOLEST thing that happened during this time was that we found out the genders of our two little beans. Because of the hemorrhage I was dealing with, I had a LOT of sonograms....so many that I lost count. I had them done through my OB's office and through my perinatologist's office. (A perinatologist is a doctor who deals exclusively with high-risk and/or multiple pregnancies) So I used all those opportunities to determine the genders of the babies. Normally, gender determination happens between weeks 18 and 20. But I started asking about it around week 13. Now it's no secret that Vincent and I wanted at least one boy out of this so I was anxious to know what was baking in the oven. I was at the perinatologist's office on this particular day for my sonogram and asked him to please give us his best guess at what genders we had. Twin A was examined first and was being difficult. The doctor had to look for a while but sure enough, we finally saw what looked like a third leg there. He said "now I wouldn't go out and paint the nursery just yet, but this looks like a boy". YAAAAY! I was cautiously excited b/c it was still really early to be making this determination. The smile on Vincent's face was priceless. Wish I had a picture of it. So he moves on to Twin B. The doctor could tell almost right away that Twin B was a girl. YAAAAAY! Even better!!! We were going to get the best of both worlds and Olivia would have a little brother AND a little sister! But again, we were cautiously excited. So at each sonogram from there on out, we had the sonographer confirm the genders for us. And as the babies got bigger, the confirmations came quicker and quicker--boy and a girl! And now, at 34 weeks, I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to be having another daughter and a son. The thought of another daughter is comforting b/c I've done--and am still doing--the daughter thing. I LOVE being the mom of a little girl and will love it for a second time. And I cannot wait to be the mother of a little boy. I am completely ecstatic about it and learning about all things boy! And I REALLY cannot wait to watch the relationship between him and his daddy develop.
On that note, let me take a minute to talk about Vincent--aka my babies' daddy. Vincent is an incredible person--one of the most selfless people I have ever met. He gets that from his mother. And as for a husband and a father, there is none better. I watch him with Olivia and my heart just swells with pride and love. He loves her more than anything and it is obvious. You can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he talks to her. It is a side of him that I figured would be there one day when we had kids but to actually see it and experience it daily has had such an impact on me. I didn't think it was possible to love him any more than the day I married him but I do. There is something about watching a father with his little girl that is so special, for lack of a better term. So it's no wonder Olivia is such a daddy's girl. He makes it very easy to love him and love him she does. My sincere hope is that our son is not only spitting image of his father (b/c let's face it, looking like Denzel Washington is not a bad thing), but more importantly that his character is in his father's image as well.
Tales from the third trimester to follow......
At week 14, the second trimester started off much like the first trimester ended--I was still feeling sick and still spotting. But I was holding onto the hope that the magic of the second trimester would make it all vanish like I had heard it would. Well, slowly but surely, my dependency on Phenergen lessened until finally around weeks 15/16 I no longer needed it to function! *insert Hallelujah chorus here* Man, I felt like a new person, too. I actually had my appetite back and I didn't feel like a freaking zombie at work anymore. Nausea like that can seriously be debilitating! And even though I don't suffer from that anymore, I ALWAYS carry my Phenergen with me at all times just in case.
Another good thing that happened during this time was the bleeding finally stopped at around 16 weeks. Talk about a relief! I'm still not sure how it happened but according to all the sonograms I had taken, the hemorrhage resolved itself and was gone. But to this day, I STILL check for any signs of bleeding each and every time I go to the bathroom.
But the COOLEST thing that happened during this time was that we found out the genders of our two little beans. Because of the hemorrhage I was dealing with, I had a LOT of sonograms....so many that I lost count. I had them done through my OB's office and through my perinatologist's office. (A perinatologist is a doctor who deals exclusively with high-risk and/or multiple pregnancies) So I used all those opportunities to determine the genders of the babies. Normally, gender determination happens between weeks 18 and 20. But I started asking about it around week 13. Now it's no secret that Vincent and I wanted at least one boy out of this so I was anxious to know what was baking in the oven. I was at the perinatologist's office on this particular day for my sonogram and asked him to please give us his best guess at what genders we had. Twin A was examined first and was being difficult. The doctor had to look for a while but sure enough, we finally saw what looked like a third leg there. He said "now I wouldn't go out and paint the nursery just yet, but this looks like a boy". YAAAAY! I was cautiously excited b/c it was still really early to be making this determination. The smile on Vincent's face was priceless. Wish I had a picture of it. So he moves on to Twin B. The doctor could tell almost right away that Twin B was a girl. YAAAAAY! Even better!!! We were going to get the best of both worlds and Olivia would have a little brother AND a little sister! But again, we were cautiously excited. So at each sonogram from there on out, we had the sonographer confirm the genders for us. And as the babies got bigger, the confirmations came quicker and quicker--boy and a girl! And now, at 34 weeks, I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to be having another daughter and a son. The thought of another daughter is comforting b/c I've done--and am still doing--the daughter thing. I LOVE being the mom of a little girl and will love it for a second time. And I cannot wait to be the mother of a little boy. I am completely ecstatic about it and learning about all things boy! And I REALLY cannot wait to watch the relationship between him and his daddy develop.
On that note, let me take a minute to talk about Vincent--aka my babies' daddy. Vincent is an incredible person--one of the most selfless people I have ever met. He gets that from his mother. And as for a husband and a father, there is none better. I watch him with Olivia and my heart just swells with pride and love. He loves her more than anything and it is obvious. You can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he talks to her. It is a side of him that I figured would be there one day when we had kids but to actually see it and experience it daily has had such an impact on me. I didn't think it was possible to love him any more than the day I married him but I do. There is something about watching a father with his little girl that is so special, for lack of a better term. So it's no wonder Olivia is such a daddy's girl. He makes it very easy to love him and love him she does. My sincere hope is that our son is not only spitting image of his father (b/c let's face it, looking like Denzel Washington is not a bad thing), but more importantly that his character is in his father's image as well.
Tales from the third trimester to follow......
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The First Trimester
The first 13 weeks of pregnancy are considered to be the first trimester. Let me just say that for me, the first trimester of this pregnancy was the LONGEST 3 months of my life! It was fraught with sickness and drama that I thought was never going to end....or more importantly not going to end well.
As I said in my previous entry, I started having morning sickness 2 days after my FET procedure. Now I had SOME morning sickness when I was pregnant with Olivia from about weeks 9 through 14. And even then, it wasn't anything too severe. NOT the case this time. I had full-blown morning sickness from practically day 1 that actually lasted 2 weeks into my second trimester. The ironic thing about morning sickness is that it's actually an indicator of a healthy pregnancy. The nausea is caused by the surge of hormones the body produces in order to maintain the pregnancy. And with twins, you get double the hormone surge so it's very common for moms of twins to have severe morning sickness! And had it I did! About 80% to 90% of my days were spent feeling like I was going to puke. But I'm proud to say I never did. For those that know me well, you know that not only do I not like to puke, I'm downright afraid of it and I will fight the urge to do it with every fiber of my being! Phenergen--the anti-nausea drug--became my new best friend but even it didn't help all the time. And one of Phenergen's side effects is drowsiness. So I'd take it and 30 minutes later need to sleep. So I was pretty much in the bed every night by 7:30/8:00. I actually ended up losing weight the first trimester because I couldn't really eat. It was a very, very rough time. But that was nothing compared to the emotional stress I dealt with. Let me explain....
One of the first things you do after you get a positive pregnancy test is have a sonogram to confirm that there is a heartbeat. This is usually done around 7-9 weeks into the pregnancy. Well I was really looking forward to my sonogram because it was going to confirm for me if I was carrying a singleton or twins (or possibly even triplets). I was scheduled to go in for my sonogram at 7 weeks. Well one day when I was still in my 6th week, I started cramping at work. I didn't think much of it at first as those kinds of things are pretty normal early on in pregnancy. But when I went to the bathroom, I noticed I was bleeding. Not good. That's when the panic set in. I thought I was having a miscarriage and it was the most helpless feeling in the world. I immediately left work and raced to my OB's office. I tried to contact Vincent at work in hopes that he could meet me at my doctor's office but he was nowhere to be found (not a shining moment in the life of my husband, I'll tell you that, but I have forgiven him since then). I found out later he was in a meeting and was unable to be reached. So whatever was to happen that afternoon, I was going to have to deal with it alone.
I got to my doctor's office and they were able to see me right away. I think they saw the panic in my face and my tears so they knew it couldn't wait. My doctor was in surgery at the time so I saw his nurse practitioner. She was so kind and compassionate. I remember telling her that I thought the pregnancy must have been going well because I had been so sick. I also told her about my blood work--how high the numbers were--and she agreed that both were good signs of a healthy pregnancy. But the only way to know for sure was to have a sonogram. They were able to get me in to the sonographer immediately. I remember being really afraid of what I was going to see--or not going to see--on that screen. But almost immediately I saw one little blob with a heartbeat. And it was a strong heartbeat, too--around 150 beats per minute. RELIEF! Then, there was a second blob but at first no heartbeat. I remember thinking that this must be the embryo that didn't make it and I was miscarrying it. But then, after more searching, she found its heartbeat, too! And it was another strong heartbeat! MORE RELIEF! But why the bleeding? Turns out I also had what's called a sub-chorionic hemorrhage in my uterus. It's basically like a blood clot on the wall the uterus that can bleed out. They don't know what causes them and they usually resolve themselves by the 2nd trimester but can also cause a miscarriage in some cases so they're not to be taken lightly. Luckily mine was small but it was big enough to cause a lot of unneeded drama in my life. I was put on bed rest immediately until the bleeding stopped. So the joy of finding out I was having twins was overshadowed by this stupid hemorrhage. GRRR! I bled off and on for the next 9 weeks. It was scary and I even ended up in the emergency room one night because the bleeding was so severe. Each time I had a bleeding episode, I remember being scared that this was it! This time was going to be the end. But each time there was an episode, I had a sonogram to confirm all was okay each time the embies were doing very well--always had strong heartbeats and always measured ahead of where they should which is to say they were growing strong. Talk about being on an emotional roller coaster. Seemed like I never knew what to expect from day to day. Not a fun way to live. But because they did so well, I know these kids are going to be feisty. They are determined and strong already and have been since day one!
So needless to say, the three of us went through a lot during that first trimester. I had actually forgotten about how rough it was until now when I began writing it all out. It makes me really appreciate how far we've come and it makes me more anxious than ever to see you babies, touch your faces, kiss your little hands and hold you tight.
Tales from the 2nd trimester later......
As I said in my previous entry, I started having morning sickness 2 days after my FET procedure. Now I had SOME morning sickness when I was pregnant with Olivia from about weeks 9 through 14. And even then, it wasn't anything too severe. NOT the case this time. I had full-blown morning sickness from practically day 1 that actually lasted 2 weeks into my second trimester. The ironic thing about morning sickness is that it's actually an indicator of a healthy pregnancy. The nausea is caused by the surge of hormones the body produces in order to maintain the pregnancy. And with twins, you get double the hormone surge so it's very common for moms of twins to have severe morning sickness! And had it I did! About 80% to 90% of my days were spent feeling like I was going to puke. But I'm proud to say I never did. For those that know me well, you know that not only do I not like to puke, I'm downright afraid of it and I will fight the urge to do it with every fiber of my being! Phenergen--the anti-nausea drug--became my new best friend but even it didn't help all the time. And one of Phenergen's side effects is drowsiness. So I'd take it and 30 minutes later need to sleep. So I was pretty much in the bed every night by 7:30/8:00. I actually ended up losing weight the first trimester because I couldn't really eat. It was a very, very rough time. But that was nothing compared to the emotional stress I dealt with. Let me explain....
One of the first things you do after you get a positive pregnancy test is have a sonogram to confirm that there is a heartbeat. This is usually done around 7-9 weeks into the pregnancy. Well I was really looking forward to my sonogram because it was going to confirm for me if I was carrying a singleton or twins (or possibly even triplets). I was scheduled to go in for my sonogram at 7 weeks. Well one day when I was still in my 6th week, I started cramping at work. I didn't think much of it at first as those kinds of things are pretty normal early on in pregnancy. But when I went to the bathroom, I noticed I was bleeding. Not good. That's when the panic set in. I thought I was having a miscarriage and it was the most helpless feeling in the world. I immediately left work and raced to my OB's office. I tried to contact Vincent at work in hopes that he could meet me at my doctor's office but he was nowhere to be found (not a shining moment in the life of my husband, I'll tell you that, but I have forgiven him since then). I found out later he was in a meeting and was unable to be reached. So whatever was to happen that afternoon, I was going to have to deal with it alone.
I got to my doctor's office and they were able to see me right away. I think they saw the panic in my face and my tears so they knew it couldn't wait. My doctor was in surgery at the time so I saw his nurse practitioner. She was so kind and compassionate. I remember telling her that I thought the pregnancy must have been going well because I had been so sick. I also told her about my blood work--how high the numbers were--and she agreed that both were good signs of a healthy pregnancy. But the only way to know for sure was to have a sonogram. They were able to get me in to the sonographer immediately. I remember being really afraid of what I was going to see--or not going to see--on that screen. But almost immediately I saw one little blob with a heartbeat. And it was a strong heartbeat, too--around 150 beats per minute. RELIEF! Then, there was a second blob but at first no heartbeat. I remember thinking that this must be the embryo that didn't make it and I was miscarrying it. But then, after more searching, she found its heartbeat, too! And it was another strong heartbeat! MORE RELIEF! But why the bleeding? Turns out I also had what's called a sub-chorionic hemorrhage in my uterus. It's basically like a blood clot on the wall the uterus that can bleed out. They don't know what causes them and they usually resolve themselves by the 2nd trimester but can also cause a miscarriage in some cases so they're not to be taken lightly. Luckily mine was small but it was big enough to cause a lot of unneeded drama in my life. I was put on bed rest immediately until the bleeding stopped. So the joy of finding out I was having twins was overshadowed by this stupid hemorrhage. GRRR! I bled off and on for the next 9 weeks. It was scary and I even ended up in the emergency room one night because the bleeding was so severe. Each time I had a bleeding episode, I remember being scared that this was it! This time was going to be the end. But each time there was an episode, I had a sonogram to confirm all was okay each time the embies were doing very well--always had strong heartbeats and always measured ahead of where they should which is to say they were growing strong. Talk about being on an emotional roller coaster. Seemed like I never knew what to expect from day to day. Not a fun way to live. But because they did so well, I know these kids are going to be feisty. They are determined and strong already and have been since day one!
So needless to say, the three of us went through a lot during that first trimester. I had actually forgotten about how rough it was until now when I began writing it all out. It makes me really appreciate how far we've come and it makes me more anxious than ever to see you babies, touch your faces, kiss your little hands and hold you tight.
Tales from the 2nd trimester later......
To Transfer or Not To Transfer....That Was the Question
Okay, before I get to the point of this entry, let me just say the auto save feature on this site ROCKS!! Where was this feature last night when my ENTIRE ENTRY was deleted?!?!
Anyway....on to why we're here.
Let me step back in time for just a sec approximately 26 months ago to March 13, 2008 (at 1:15am to be exact). This was the day my life changed forever--the day I became a mother. Olivia Carol was born into our lives that day and forever imprinted on my heart. And what an entrance she made. She did not come into the world quietly, no sir. I labored with her for 36 long, painful and sometimes frightening hours. The epidural--the miracle drug that had been a God-send for so many of my friends during their labor experiences--did not work for me. Lucky me. So I suffered through the "normal" pain of labor as well as the pain of having her basically get stuck in the birth canal. Other women tell me that I will forget that pain one day and to them I say SHUT UP! I can say with 100% certainty that I will NEVER, as long as I live, forget what that felt like. I remember thinking during it all when the pain would hit that this is what dying must feel like. And that is not a memory that just fades with time. Anyway.......the doctors finally decided that a Csection was the only alternative for me and I was put out of my labor misery (although parts of the surgery itself were painful, too). The entire labor and birth experience was extremely traumatic for me. Olivia was/is 100% worth it and I would go through it all again if I had to.....for HER. But if I thought I had to go through that Hell again for someone else, I'm almost positive I'd say 'no thanks' and Olivia would be an only (biological) child. But, given my history and small frame, by OB has assured me that all future births will be scheduled Csections so no more torture in my future. Thank you, God!
So now fast forward to the beginning of 2009. Olivia was getting ready to be a year old and we were considering expanding our family already. But the decision to do that wasn't so easy for us. Olivia was not conceived "the old fashioned way". She was a test tube baby born to us through the miracle--yes, miracle--of in-vitro fertilization. We were very, very blessed that the IVF process worked for us on the first attempt and I got pregnant. We were even MORE blessed that we had 3 embryos to freeze for the future, too. So now we had to decide if we would expand the family, and to do so it would be through the process known as frozen embryo transfer, or FET. Here, the embryos are basically thawed out and put back into the mother. The process is considerably less taxing on the mother's body than IVF but the success rates are also not as good as they are with IVF. So knowing we could potentially have a long road ahead of us to get baby #2 made us decide to go through with FET pretty soon after Olivia turned a year old.
I started the process in April 2009--this included blood work, some drugs and sonograms. But from the very beginning, my body did not respond properly to the process so my FET cycle was canceled before it even really got started. I was disappointed but I knew that it must have been God's way of saying that it wasn't the right time so I decided to put the quest for baby #2 on the back burner for a while. The embryos weren't going anywhere so I decided to work on myself. I started eating better and exercising and by August 2009, I had lost 30lbs! It was the best I had looked and felt in YEARS--looked like "the old Allison" again which is to say THIN! We even took a quick trip to Mexico that month (just Vincent and I). For me it was a celebration! The old/new me was loving life and how I felt in it! What better way to celebrate than don a cute bathing suit and lay around on the beach!
After that trip, I felt it was time to explore FET again. So in September I started the process again and this time my body cooperated! Yay! It was really going to happen! In mid-October, we transferred 2 of the 3 embryos back into my person. And they were really good looking embryos, too! The day of the transfer, they were already hatching (and anyone who's gone through fertility treatments will tell you that's an excellent sign). I don't remember the exact date we did the FET, but I know it was on a Tuesday. And on Thursday, I started to feel sick--like morning sickness sick. At the time, I just chalked it up to all the hormones I was taking. But by that Saturday when the sickness was still hanging around, curiosity got the best of me and I took a home pregnancy test which came back positive! I was in shock b/c it came back positive so soon after the procedure! Usually it takes at least a week to get a positive result. That should have been my first clue as to what was coming!
Another week went by and I pretty much tested at home every day just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. All tests came back positive! Then it was time to have the official blood work done to confirm pregnancy. They are looking for a specific number (measuring pregnancy hormone) when determining pregnancy and for the clinic, anything over 25 and you are considered pregnant. When I was pregnant with Olivia, my blood work numbers came back at around 300. This time......the nurse calls me and says:
Nurse: "congratulations! you are definitely pregnant!"
Me: "what was my number?"
Nurse: "ummmm, it was 1,100!!! (My eyes get as big as saucers) Now tell me again, how many embryos did you put back?"
Me: "Two."
Nurse: "well, I don't want to speculate, but with a number like that, I'm almost positive you're having twins--maybe even triplets if one of those embryos split!"
Wow! Me.....Allison....a mom to twins--maybe even triplets???? If you had told me 10 years ago I was going to have multiples, I would have laughed in your face!
Anyway....on to why we're here.
Let me step back in time for just a sec approximately 26 months ago to March 13, 2008 (at 1:15am to be exact). This was the day my life changed forever--the day I became a mother. Olivia Carol was born into our lives that day and forever imprinted on my heart. And what an entrance she made. She did not come into the world quietly, no sir. I labored with her for 36 long, painful and sometimes frightening hours. The epidural--the miracle drug that had been a God-send for so many of my friends during their labor experiences--did not work for me. Lucky me. So I suffered through the "normal" pain of labor as well as the pain of having her basically get stuck in the birth canal. Other women tell me that I will forget that pain one day and to them I say SHUT UP! I can say with 100% certainty that I will NEVER, as long as I live, forget what that felt like. I remember thinking during it all when the pain would hit that this is what dying must feel like. And that is not a memory that just fades with time. Anyway.......the doctors finally decided that a Csection was the only alternative for me and I was put out of my labor misery (although parts of the surgery itself were painful, too). The entire labor and birth experience was extremely traumatic for me. Olivia was/is 100% worth it and I would go through it all again if I had to.....for HER. But if I thought I had to go through that Hell again for someone else, I'm almost positive I'd say 'no thanks' and Olivia would be an only (biological) child. But, given my history and small frame, by OB has assured me that all future births will be scheduled Csections so no more torture in my future. Thank you, God!
So now fast forward to the beginning of 2009. Olivia was getting ready to be a year old and we were considering expanding our family already. But the decision to do that wasn't so easy for us. Olivia was not conceived "the old fashioned way". She was a test tube baby born to us through the miracle--yes, miracle--of in-vitro fertilization. We were very, very blessed that the IVF process worked for us on the first attempt and I got pregnant. We were even MORE blessed that we had 3 embryos to freeze for the future, too. So now we had to decide if we would expand the family, and to do so it would be through the process known as frozen embryo transfer, or FET. Here, the embryos are basically thawed out and put back into the mother. The process is considerably less taxing on the mother's body than IVF but the success rates are also not as good as they are with IVF. So knowing we could potentially have a long road ahead of us to get baby #2 made us decide to go through with FET pretty soon after Olivia turned a year old.
I started the process in April 2009--this included blood work, some drugs and sonograms. But from the very beginning, my body did not respond properly to the process so my FET cycle was canceled before it even really got started. I was disappointed but I knew that it must have been God's way of saying that it wasn't the right time so I decided to put the quest for baby #2 on the back burner for a while. The embryos weren't going anywhere so I decided to work on myself. I started eating better and exercising and by August 2009, I had lost 30lbs! It was the best I had looked and felt in YEARS--looked like "the old Allison" again which is to say THIN! We even took a quick trip to Mexico that month (just Vincent and I). For me it was a celebration! The old/new me was loving life and how I felt in it! What better way to celebrate than don a cute bathing suit and lay around on the beach!
After that trip, I felt it was time to explore FET again. So in September I started the process again and this time my body cooperated! Yay! It was really going to happen! In mid-October, we transferred 2 of the 3 embryos back into my person. And they were really good looking embryos, too! The day of the transfer, they were already hatching (and anyone who's gone through fertility treatments will tell you that's an excellent sign). I don't remember the exact date we did the FET, but I know it was on a Tuesday. And on Thursday, I started to feel sick--like morning sickness sick. At the time, I just chalked it up to all the hormones I was taking. But by that Saturday when the sickness was still hanging around, curiosity got the best of me and I took a home pregnancy test which came back positive! I was in shock b/c it came back positive so soon after the procedure! Usually it takes at least a week to get a positive result. That should have been my first clue as to what was coming!
Another week went by and I pretty much tested at home every day just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. All tests came back positive! Then it was time to have the official blood work done to confirm pregnancy. They are looking for a specific number (measuring pregnancy hormone) when determining pregnancy and for the clinic, anything over 25 and you are considered pregnant. When I was pregnant with Olivia, my blood work numbers came back at around 300. This time......the nurse calls me and says:
Nurse: "congratulations! you are definitely pregnant!"
Me: "what was my number?"
Nurse: "ummmm, it was 1,100!!! (My eyes get as big as saucers) Now tell me again, how many embryos did you put back?"
Me: "Two."
Nurse: "well, I don't want to speculate, but with a number like that, I'm almost positive you're having twins--maybe even triplets if one of those embryos split!"
Wow! Me.....Allison....a mom to twins--maybe even triplets???? If you had told me 10 years ago I was going to have multiples, I would have laughed in your face!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Post #1, take 2!
Okay, after a MOST unfortunate computer SNAFU last night, the anger has subsided and I am now attempting to write this first blog entry AGAIN!
I decided last night to venture into the world of blogging again. I started one over 2 years ago when I was pregnant with Olivia, but it only lasted about 2 months. I've never been big on diaries or journals. I don't know.....writing down my feelings and emotions like I was trying to work through some sort of crisis/emotional baggage or writing about the mundane events of my day always seemed silly to me. So that's pretty much why blog #1 went nowhere. But perhaps if I think of this one as love letter to my kids rather than some sort of online therapy session, I'll be more likely to continue. My only regret is that I didn't start this sooner. I've heard that you can publish these things and voila! You have an instant scrap book! I'm 32 weeks/5 days today so I wish I had been chronicling this pregnancy journey before now. But I am going to attempt to summarize it in the next few series of entries so you will know how I/we got to this point. And I promise to TRY to be faithful to this blog from here on out.
I decided last night to venture into the world of blogging again. I started one over 2 years ago when I was pregnant with Olivia, but it only lasted about 2 months. I've never been big on diaries or journals. I don't know.....writing down my feelings and emotions like I was trying to work through some sort of crisis/emotional baggage or writing about the mundane events of my day always seemed silly to me. So that's pretty much why blog #1 went nowhere. But perhaps if I think of this one as love letter to my kids rather than some sort of online therapy session, I'll be more likely to continue. My only regret is that I didn't start this sooner. I've heard that you can publish these things and voila! You have an instant scrap book! I'm 32 weeks/5 days today so I wish I had been chronicling this pregnancy journey before now. But I am going to attempt to summarize it in the next few series of entries so you will know how I/we got to this point. And I promise to TRY to be faithful to this blog from here on out.
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