Twin Sheets: September 2012

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Hide 'n' Go Seek and Panic Attacks

If I didn't realize it before, I do now. Colin is my dare devil. My adventure seeker. My brave-to-a-fault child who isn't going to look before he leaps. People keep telling me that's because he's a boy and all boys are like that. Not sure I completely buy into that gender stereotype but neither of his sisters is like this so maybe those people are on to something. He's always been a climber and a jumper. One that naturally gravitates towards playing with knives and scissors (but thankfully I've learned to keep those things way out of his reach). He was the first to climb the stairs and also the first to fall down them. I imagine he'd be all for skydiving if he even knew what that was. This boy is fearless....completely the OPPOSITE of his mama! I don't like adventure--well the kind that could be life threatening, that is. I hate roller coasters. Not a huge fan of flying. Boats make me nervous. And for as long as I can remember, I have been the type to look before I leap. And I mean a SERIOUS looker. Oftentimes I look for so long and so hard that I forget why I'm even looking in the first place! So for me, having a child like Colin is a challenge to say the least--mostly because I don't get those adventurous-types.

As I type this, I'm reminded of a quote from the Steve Martin remake of the 1950 classic film Father of the Bride (which incidentally is NOT as good as the original Spencer Tracy version. But I digress). This pretty much sums me up as a parent, too:

"I've always been a concerned parent. I'm big on car seats, seat belts, bed times, curfews, calling when you get somewhere, never running with a sharp object."

That's totally me, y'all. Maybe to a fault. Given this personality flaw...er...trait, I'm always watching over my kids like a hawk. But today I guess I wasn't watching close enough. After church, a big group of us (us being other parents with young kids) stands around in the church's gym to chit chat and let the kids play. Today was no different except that today in the few seconds we weren't watching, Colin disappeared. I wasn't concerned as I began the search for him because I figured he had just ducked into one of the gym's classrooms. But my initial search came up empty. I got Vincent involved. I ran upstairs while he searched downstairs. No Colin. Other parents began to see the concern on my face and they joined in the search. I checked parking lots. Nothing. Panic didn't really set in until I saw the look of concern on Vincent's face. He's the calm one in this relationship--the one that helps keep my neuroses in check. When Vincent's scared, I know it's time to hit the panic button. And hit it I did. I began to imagine all the awful things that could have happened to my boy. I don't even want to go there again by writing them down. But I'm sure any other parent reading this knows the places my brain was going. Not fun. Finally I as I was headed to the playground thinking maybe he went there for some fun, I hear someone say "tell mom we found him". RELIEF!! I walk out the doors of the gym to see one of the nursery workers walking him back. He was happy as a clam. He had walked all the way from our church's gym back to the building where the nursery is. That's a long way--like a mile in a two year old's world. But he got it in his mind that he wanted to go back there and he did. And took about 5 years off my life in the process. It took me a while to come down off that awful, fear-generated adrenaline rush. I had a headache and a stomach ache.

I can't help feeling like I had a "failed mom" moment today. I keep playing the 'what if' game. All I can say is thank God that He was watching over Colin. Thank you, God, that while I was having a stupid, very human moment, You were keeping my boy safe. Sometimes I still wonder why You made me the mother of anyone--especially after days like today. But I know You gave me these little blessings for a reason. I believe You thought that I'd be just the right the mother for these three. Perhaps Colin and I can learn something from one another. Maybe Colin can teach his mom a thing or two about being a little more adventurous. And I think I will teach him how to dial 911!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Five Minute Friday--Grasp

Go!

Sofia, your sweet little hand grasped my finger. You pulled me along saying "Come mere, Mama." I got butterflies in my stomach b/c I was reminded of how in love with you I am. You are my precious littlest baby. I wanted to grasp that moment in time and freeze it. So I would always remember it. I don't want to forget these times when you love me so much that I am your whole world. One day when you're a teenager and don't want to have anything to do with me, it's those tiny moments I'll grasp on to. It will make my heart smile and hurt as I realize my baby is growing up. Until then, I will hold onto you, Colin and Olivia with all my might. You are my reasons for being. That alone is an overwhelming concept to grasp! Mind blowing!

Stop!

Here's the scoop on Five Minute Fridays from Lisa Jo herself:

We write for five minutes flat. All on the same prompt that I post here at 1 minute past midnight EST ever Friday. And we connect on Twitter with the hashtag#FiveMinuteFriday

No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation.

Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

It started because I’d been thinking about writing and how often our perfectionism gets in the way of our words. And I figured, why not take 5 minutes and see what comes out: not a perfect post, not a profound post, just five minutes of focused writing.

So now on Fridays a group of people who love to throw caution to the wind and just write without worrying if it’s just right gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes.

Blah, blah, blog

Well here I go again. The third time in my life I'm attempting to blog. The other 2 times I tried, I failed. First try--lack of interest in my own story. Ha. Second try--lack of time. So of course it makes sense to try again when I have 3 kids under the age of 5, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and a house to maintain. Sure, why not? Recipe for failure? I hope not.

I have to admit, I always felt silly about journaling and/or keeping a diary. I don't know why. Just always have. Back in the days of diaries with locks and keys, I felt silly writing to no one. I mean, no one else was going to read my entries and I already knew how I was feeling so why take the extra time to write it down? Seemed pointless. Lots of blah, blah, blah for no reason. While I still feel weird about journaling, blogging is a little different, I think. I even looked up the definition to make sure. I'm a word nerd and love to know the meanings and origins of words. 'Blog' is the combination of the words 'web' and 'log'. Kind of like a journal but more like a chronicle. So I think I'm okay with that.

But another reason I want to give this another shot is that I want to write. There, I said it. I've always loved to write and I've been told my whole life that I have a knack for it. But I've always been hesitant to try b/c I'm a wuss and it's hard to put yourself out there for people to point and laugh at you or shred you to bits. But I've also hesitated b/c I always feared my technical skills weren't good enough--you know, proper punctuation usage and whatnot. I like to do things right or I don't want to do them at all. But I'm not going to let that stop me anymore. I just hope that what I have to say and what I have to write will be so brilliant and impactful (kidding, sort of) that some punctuation mistakes will go unnoticed. Or at least forgiven.

I've also been inspired by reading some other amazing blogs recently. Check out Holley Gerth's and Lisa Jo Baker's blogs. They're worth the read.

I don't know. We'll see where this all goes from here. Even though my blog isn't exclusively about the twins anymore, I'm keeping the name b/c I think it's clever. Vincent came up with the name. I love it so it stays! :)

They're heeeeeere!

(Okay, so in a pathetic attempt to somewhat update my blog--2 YEARS LATER--I'm finishing this post I started when the twins were 2 weeks old. And adding pics.)

Most of us are familiar with that oh-so-ominous line from 'Poltergeist'...."They're heeeeeere!" The line spoken by young Carol Ann to her family after the evil spirits fly out of her parents' TV screen and into the walls of their home. It was an unwelcome invasion that resulted in a supernatural kidnapping, terror and eventual loss of the family home when it was sucked down to the bowels of Hell. Sounds fun, doesn't it? Well I can assure you that while I chose to use that famous, horror movie quote as the title of this blog entry, the twins' arrival has been nothing but sheer joy. Yes, scary sometimes but not like the plot of a scary movie. Their invasion was most hoped for, most prayed for and so very welcomed! These babies are precious, my little monsters (see pics below) :)

The twins arrived on June 14th as scheduled. Colin Patrick Sheets was born at 8:56am weighing in at 7 lbs, 12 oz and 20.5 inches long! Sofia Kate was born a minute later at 8:57am weighing in at a whopping 7lbs, 15 oz and 19.75 inches long!! Sofia weighed more than her older sister did when she was born! I got confirmation yesterday from Dr. Staub that they are the biggest set of twins he's ever delivered or that he's ever heard about! All the nurses kept commenting on how big and healthy they were for twins--they are already making momma proud at such a young age! You talk about grateful to God...I am still thanking Him everyday for these little miracles! I am so, so blessed!

My Csection could not have gone smoother. I opted for the spinal block and it was the best decision--I felt absolutely nothing and it was greatness. It was fun having Dr. Staub in the delivery room this time, too. He really helped to relieve the tension for me and let Vincent get some GREAT delivery shots, too (I will post pics soon)! And nothing could express the joy I felt at seeing both my babies one by one and hearing them cry for the first time. Vincent was so proud and excited--his voice went up an octave when he began to speak and he was talking very fast just like a little kid on Christmas morning. It was so cute.

The overall stay in the hospital was a much better experience this time, too. I didn't get sick, the nurses were awesome, only needed one IV, and the food was even better this time! I can't complain at all! But a hospital stay is still a hospital stay and I was so glad to get home. These first couple of weeks have been rough from a sleep standpoint. We're basically not getting any but that's to be expected. Sofia seems to have developed reflux--just like her big sister.